Contention drives our family members away.
I read Ezra Taft Bensons talk titled “Beware Of Pride”. This phrase stood out to me “Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts.”
I looked up the definition of “hostile”. Hostile is defined as “unfriendly; antagonistic” Or synonyms to it are “unfriendly, unkind, bitter”.
Does having the spirit mean that I can’t ever be frustrated or angry?
I’ve thought about lately why when emotions rise in my family and I say something, why I feel bad about?
I’ve wondered, is what I am saying wrong? Can I only say things if they’re positive or happy? I have felt frustrated, feeling like I have to only be happy to have the spirit in my home.
I’ve wondered does having the spirit mean that I can’t ever be frustrated or angry? I’ve wondered does being angry or mad mean God is not happy with me? I’ve felt suffocated with this thought.
Guilt doesn’t feel right.
I want to do good and I don’t think the guilt associated with this is helping. It doesn’t feel right.
One thought I’ve been thinking about and am slowly learning is that I can say what I want to say, but can say it calmly. If I’m feeling angry or frustrated I shouldn’t say it in the heat of the moment. When I’m feeling this way, it’s important to give myself the permission to walk away when frustrated.
What I think would be best, at least for me is to let them know that I need some time and I’ll approach them when I’m ready. If they don’t like that or ask why, let them know I don’t want to speak when I’m feeling upset.
I’m learning I can say all this in a calm tone, not angrily or frustrated. I can still keep the spirit in my home and my family relationships intact.
Then bring it up again when I’ve thought what I’ve wanted to say through and when I’m ready. This is a learning process and this isn’t the one and only answer, but it a piece of light that’s helping me.